FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN by rjmendera
A novella in 14 parts (c) Germany 2013
The original was written in 2004 in Freiburg ,Baden Würtemberg, for my nieces and nephews in Canada.The manuscript was sent to my sister in BC in 2007 for safe keeping and returned to me in Dortmund in 2012.. The story toggles between fictional and real worlds.rjmendera 2013 germany
1-The Green Magician
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN rjmendera(c) germany/canada
THE GREEN MAGICIAN : part one
Your Uncle Farli in Europe (I‘ve changed his name here for your own protection) is a wanted man.I‘ll tell you why.He‘s a player in a dangerous game; some people call it Shadowchase or Shadowrun, but you can‘t find it on the web, and the players are hard to identify. Uncle Farli has let me know that he would,from time to time,on account of you kids growing up now,send me some secret messages,when it was safe and there were no „BULLS“ around.BULLS is his name for the international spy group thats always after him. At the moment Uncle Farli is living with three Bavarian Warlocks in the Black Forest; there‘s also a White Witch and a Barbarian there.Of course i cant tell you exactly where,and i dont want you ever to write there or call there or SMS there if i accidentally did,because its much too dangerous! What I‘m telling you is the honest-to-goodness actual down-to-earth no doubt about it far from fetched-in truth. Your Uncle Farli is a Shadowrunner! He‘s one of the main players even.He has connections in Holland,Portugal,Spain,Germany,Canada,the States,Brasil and Sweden! And because those SpyBulls are after him too,he cant stay in one place very long-its true- ask yer Mother.
The problem started 13 years ago when a Salish witch put a curse on him. Farli was driving a taxi in the North then,that was before nephew George was born. The witch did this in a very clever way.She sent her oldest son downstairs to where Farli lived back then,and told the boy to be friends with him,which worked.In order to prepare the curse,she herself went out to bars at night and brought home strange men for several weeks.She took a lil saliva from each one as they were sleeping and stored it in a pickle glass. This Salish witch looked a lot like Roseanne on TV,and she did all this for her splayed-lip brother,so that he could take over Farli‘s place downstairs. Anyway she then had her son bring up a photo of Uncle Farli,and she got an earwad and smeared this spit all over the photo. The result was that all,or most of the people who had been friends with Uncle Farli started to hate him.Imagine all your friends hated you all of a sudden.A curse can do that!This curse was so strong that even Uncle Farli‘s family hated him,and some still do.Well not your Grandma of course: she is a White Witch and can see through evil things, and not Uncle Franz who has the protection of garlic! Well the only way to get rid of this curse was to leave Canada and thats what Farli did;although in Europe,even in Europe when he first got there, some people snubbed him.It was only by the Earthwoman Beatrix and her man Michael that this awful curse lost its strength.And if you think garlic is only good as a spice and doesn‘t work against bad things,just ask uncle Franz-Otto personally.
At first Farli was quite sad that he had to leave Canada because its a nice country,but he decided to make the best of it in „Old Germany“ So he played a lot of soccer,and he made many new friends,and when he got sick of „Old Germany“ he would hop on his bike and head for Portugal. It was on his first Portugal trip in 1996 that he met LEO the Green Magician.There aren‘t too many Green Magicians anymore-you can pick them out as foreigners who are friendly and informative.Leo is never still for long;he‘s a hectic,thin man who seems always to be searching for something.He tears around Lisbon in a three-wheeled pizza Scooter and his wife is ugly as an ogre,although she is kind sweet and kind. Officially Leo is a night-watchman at a Sports Club in Lisbon,but of course what people do officially and unofficially are two different things.Leo and Leandra have a cool house with two dogs on a busy street,so that ,as i said before,its difficult to recognize Leo as a player and a Magician.! Oh yah;two more things. Uncle Farli is not a sorcerer or magician or shaman or healer- he is a Magier which is not a Hungarian but something like a wiseguy.And he says that when kids get tired of a story they should all yell: BURN THE MANUSCRIPT!! BURN THE MANUSCRIPT!! together.But they shouldn‘t actually burn it because it has a spellof its own that might have strange effects on the burnee!
Leo and Farli rode along the Atlantic Coast disguised as bike campers.The first magic that Leo did was by Aljezur.He did it so carefully that Farli never noticed.They were looking for a campsite in the night and with Farli‘s English and Leo‘s Portuguese they got directions. „Just up the hill and down the coast“
It was quite warm still and they pushed the bikes with their packs up a path.Leo had a flashlight.But the path got so steeep that it had to be abandoned and they tried another way. Farli could see a clearing coming up and suddenly they were on soft lawn and it was level,about a mile above the valley of Aljezur.“Jeez“ Farli laughed as Leo pointed the flashlight.“Its a soccer field“ It was a soccer field alright with a nice clubhouse and fencing behind the goals to stop wayward kicks.There sand piles and shovels and bricks lying as they had been left the day before. „We could camp out here“ Farli said happily. „Better not „ the Green Magician answered.At that moment the Clubhouse lights and field floodlights burst on.What a sight ! The club and field looked perfect and waiting for action.The crickets were lilting out a serene night song as the men stood together and listened. „Now this is beautiful“Farli said. Leo turned and the lights went off. „OK-C‘mon“ Leo said. They pushed on through the night and found their campsite several miles down the coast.During the night and in the morning Uncle Farli noticed that Leo looked a little haggard,distracted.But he said nothing.Still he wondered about this friendly stranger he had met a few days ago by Ilha de Pesseguiro. I can tell you what this was,of course! In German its called Entzug and its the price every magician pays for creating a spell or an effect.The greater the magic,the more powerful the Entzug,or withdrawal stage.In some cases the magician becomes ill;in extreme cases he dies,but that is seldom. The morning found them under willows and other trees Farli had never seen before and after breakfast they moved on.The sun beat down always hotter. Farli wondered what it would be like ,the Algarve.And Leo was full of good humour and cheerful and always eager to push on.And as Uncle Farli rode the highway behind him he hardly noticed how full of color and vegetation and sunshine everything around this man was. Now he knows it,and that is why he keeps a constant contact to this great green magical man in Lisbon,whose club is called Sporting,whose mascot is a young roaring Lion! (the first secret word is „CANTO“)
2-The First Circle of Runners
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN rjmendera
The First Circle of Runners part two I hope you realize that these happenings in the Algarve and on the way back home through Spain and France have made Uncle Farli pretty famous in Europe.Not as well known as Mark Twain in the States or Charles Dickens in England maybe,but still; he has a reputation. Farli has only ever once owned a car which he bought for 25 dollars from a service station.This car almost killed him-that was in the Kootenays a long time ago. Since then Farli only rides or drives in trucks whenever possible! Farli is convinced that cars make people stupid.They mess up your kinetic energy.They can seem like a good friend but the minute you doze off they can try to kill you.For example that white ‚79 Lincoln Continental taxi Farli drove in the North: one early morning in the winter of 1991, it just started burning under the hood with a full tank of propane and nearly scorched his wallet!You can ask aunt Ute if that is not the unblemished truth! Most of the time Farli bikes around.He does ride street cars,trains and buses when need be,but he is most happy on his „metal mule“ as he calls it.He says a bike won‘t kill you like a car; it‘ll go lame on you,kick off its chain or refuse to change a gear,but with a lil oil and attention you can let it sit locked up outside your tent in a foreign country and it won‘t go cruising at night or try to etherize you.
There was a small group of teen-agers that used to play on a lawn by a church.This was before Farli left for Portugal.O.K. to make it short,Farli at that time could never resist showing off his soccer skills.He got to know this group pretty well and discovered that aside from clever corner kicks and wall passes they also had intelligent, imaginative heads.That is how it happened that they began meeting at his place for the Shadowrun. Shadowrun there was like practise for the real thing.There was Ramboni,for example,who was a lil off third base! He was the worst soccer player who usually ended up kicking your heels. He would do things during the Run like say,“ In that case I would shoot the Weapons Dealer in the ass with my handgun!“ Alex,who was always Gamemaster in the beginning,would look around bemused and say „You can‘t do that!“ „Yes i can.Its loaded!“ „No!Ramboni! He‘s looking directly into your eyes!“ „Oh OK! Then i guess I‘d shoot him in the foot,“ Ramboni would say,disappointed, because shooting the crook in the ass was more fun. „Good,then lets see if its a hit or a miss.“ Sebol and Damian,the polish cousins,would chortle to themselves.Joop,the sceptic,who lived only with his mother,would say something like“Ramboni ,why do you have to shoot up everything!?“ And Alex would say „ Its his character-let him!“ Joop preferred situations where his cleverness and his tactical skill were called for.But he made a rather weak warrior at times.Once,when Farli was Gamemaster,Joop said,“I would sneak across the road and hide by the door-“ as an action for his character.Well,this was hardly the right way for ,say,Conan the Barbarian,and so Joop‘s character promptly got all shot up! Anyway, these practise „runs“ were good lessons for Uncle Farli and the games went on for hours, sometimes on and off for weeks!So this was the first circle of „Runners“ as they called themselves and the group met regularly for about two years,until Sebol turned seventeen. What happened after that shows how real-life situations can be much more dangerous than any „Run“. Sebol met a girl called Marina who was the youngest of three sisters.Before Farli could say „mountain bike“ this Marina had Sebol all wrapped around her lil finger.Oh Marina wants to do this and oh Marina and i are going to see that-!-Damian,his true cousin,and Farli could only look at each other in disdain.There wasn‘t anything in the Shadowchase rule book that warned you about getting hooked on a girl with shining black hair,and to make matters worse,Marina brought her silly sisters over to take part in the „runs“.Marina was quite a good player,although she sacrificed a horse once to escape from a high tide.Her sisters,however, were denser than strawbales and usually lost interest half-way through the Run!
Uncle Farli coached soccer back then,like i do now.Later,when this teen-age group got a bit older,they discovered an oldtimers group who also played on the lawn,on Tuesdays and Fridays.These old guys just called Uncle Farli,“Trainer“ „Trainer,you‘re on our side“ they would say when picking teams. But mostly Farli,Joop,Ramboni,Alex and the cousins were on one side,along with the Undertaker brothers,Martin and Malte,and some other boys, and they played against Rainer,Eetzel,Ralli and Peter to name a few of the old guys. Farli and TEENAGERS vs SENIORS;the oldest of whom was sixty five!What was funny at first,but then later the cause of trouble,was how serious these old kickers took these scrimmages,especially ol Rainer.Rainer had already had operations to remove bulging arteries from his thick legs.Rainer was like an old steam engine trying to keep up to modern inter city trains.And Eetzel,who was a small,chubby bald-headed man,and still a playboy at sixty-two,always got the worst of it. „EEEeeeetzel-!!“ Rainer would shout so loud that the big park trees shook.“Trap the ball first!!““ Eetzel just got redder in the face(and on his noggin) with every mistake.Sometimes he got so fed up with Rainers loud abuse that he jumped in his Mercedes Cabrio and went home.There was one game in which Rainer completely lost his head.Sebol,who was a good dribbler, had just deeked him out of his worn out adidas,when Rainer swung his leg like an axe.Down went Sebol like a felled pine tree moaning and groaning and in sprang Uncle Farli. „You old fool!“ Farli said and shoved Rainer to the ground. „Have you lost all your wits!“ „Farli was actually very fond of Sebol,so this really had him heated up. „They‘re just youngsters! You could have broke his leg“ „I‘ll sue!“ Rainer sputtered Uncle Farli,still full ticked-off,went and stood over Rainer.“Don‘t you go in like that again,you hear me!“Farli warned. Quickly some other players got between them. But that was a rare scene,and come Friday,they were all there again, putting their old cleats on.
Well you won‘t believe it,but these old guys still play soccer on the same lawn.They must be over seventy by now!Farli says he can still hear Rainer screaming „EEEeeetzel!! PASS the ball!!“ Sebol and Marina had a child at seventeen.But they never got married.Alex was in the German army for while.Damian had some drug problems later,but has a girlfriend now.Ramboni and Joop lost touch.The Undertaker brothers now run their father‘s graveyard business.Uncle Farli,when he realized things were falling apart, hopped on his bike and rode off to Portugal. So this is what happened before he met the Green Magician. The strange thing was,everyone talked about Uncle Farli during the time he was away. And that Shadowchase game they played back then has become a reality!He really is staying in a house with three Bavarian warlocks in the Black Forest,and its only a matter of time until he meets the Green Magician again. At the moment Farli is sniffing out the area,taking photos of the surroundings,and keeping a lookout for SpyBulls.
He says he‘ll write about the Warlock Brothers,the White Witch and the Barbarian as soon as he can smuggle a letter out.Its possible that he‘s already being watched again,even though he hardly left any traces after the last address change.He also has some garlic hanging over the door now,just in case!
your next secret word is (REMATE)
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN
FARLI‘S APPRENTICE part three
Now there is something else you must know about Farli before i go on with the story.You may think he‘s just an ignorant vagabond looking for a life,but in fact Uncle Farli has been President twice! No,not of the States,of course not! That would mean he‘d be stuck in a bullet-proof limousine! Uncle Farli was student council president of his high school in Summerland.
„VOTE FARLI FOR FAIR PLAY“
And later he was President of a men‘s indoor soccer league!
„FARLI FINDS FOUL PLAY“
Even at a young age the local papers were after Farli for a story.
„YOUNG FARLI FINISHES FIRST AT REGIONALS“
So how about you kids? Have you been in the papers yet? Well its about time!Don‘t wait till you‘re fifteen! About ten years ago when Uncle Farli returned from Portugal he ended up on a street without any trees.Imagine that!A street about 800 meters long,totally asphalt,brick and concrete.You can imagine how depressing this was after living in a country like Portugal with poinsettias,palms,lavender,hibiscus and pomegranates! As if that wasn‘t enough bad luck,his wheeler-dealer Italian neighbour sold him a hot Honda Civic which never ran more than a hundred meters! Farli was sitting on the front steps with his head in his hands watching a Turkish kid kick a ball against a house wall.But,as so often happens in Life,when things seem utterly dreary,the Great Magician is quietly at work--! A little girl about ten sat down beside him,without saying much.Well ,do you know there are times when lil girls have just the right feather to tickle under your nose! „What do you think,Farli?“ she said. „Life‘s a Bore!“Farli said,wondering how she knew his name. „Yup.not much growin‘ on this street.“ she said. They watched the turkish kid kick the ball together.After awhile she said,“So what do you think of him?“ „Eh?“ „My brother---is he any good?“ Farli called the boy over.His name was Farrad.He was a few years older than his sister. „You play soccer?“ „Hi.“ Farrad said „You on a team?“ Farli asked.He noticed the boys left eye didn‘t focus properly,and his pupil was slightly astray. „No -not yet.“ „Are you under 12?“ Something clicked in Farrad‘s head and his eyes lit up. „Ahh-ya,sure-i‘m eleven.“ Farli had started coaching a U-12 team since his return,which was a partial disaster.This kid could at least kick the football well. „So,do you want to try out with my team? I need another player.“ „OK,“ Farrad said,and Farli could see that Farrad was keen on something new. The lil sister,whose name was Sybil,smiled up at him warmly.She put her hand on his shoulder like they were old pals. „Can i come too?“ she grinned.And just as quickly as that the boring day was saved. Now this U-12 team Uncle Farli was coaching then hadn‘t won more than a few games.Sometimes Farli had the impression they were more interested in pounding and kicking,scratching,cussing and spitting than in playing soccer. But such is your Uncle‘s nature that the more these kids cussed and spat,the closer they grew to his heart.You see there‘s nothing worse for Farli than to be stuck in a changeroom with a bunch of over polite,very quiet,over attentive etiquette-polished boys!And one lawyers‘ son meekly raising his finger asking“Pardon me your Trainer-Highness,would it be a great physical imbalance for the team if i played at least twenty minutes of this scrimmage?“ He preferred the kind of boy that came to him and said“Hey Coach,Ali just bit my arm-can you kick him off the team!?“
Farrad submitted a birth certificate and signed with the team.Sybil also came to practise and charged the boys with a passion.But when they fouled her she got mad and chased them and ended up stomping off the field in tears.Then she would go to Agatha who ran the club kiosk and help out there. The first and only game Farrad played was a thriller.Now that they had a bigger guy on their side,Farli‘s bandits really gave it an effort! And the opposition were probably boys from the legal district.Anyway,at 1-1 late in the first half,it happened. Farli says he‘s never seen another goal like it,not even in professional football.!Young Farrad,who was on his own half of the field on his right,took a big kick at the ball which flew and flew and flew(this ball was doing a Peter Pan impersonation!) and flew even farther all the way over the helpless outstretched arms of the opposition goalie right into his net like an egg some albatross dropped from three thousand feet. The lil goalie turned around and made a strange face.He went to the Ref in a huff! „Wasn‘t that offside or something!“ „Is that LEGAL!?“ „Does it say in the Rule Book he can score from there?“ Farli‘s boys,after staring in disbelief for a few seconds,cheered and charged after Farrad who was doing something similar to a Turkish belly dance in celebration.Well,there was no holding them back after that;they won by three or four goals and Farrad,to this day,when he sees a great goal scored,says--“Nah---not as good as mine!“
Uncle Farli has told me that Farrad has learned a lot since then,and that he will be eighteen in June.It is possible that they will join up again then and start on a new adventure,maybe with Leo the Magician.There was one detail however (and this is usually the problem with Farrad) that was forgotten.A weel later the Club Registrar brought Uncle Farli Farrad‘s birth certificate. „We can‘t accept this ,“ he said. Farli looked closely at the paper. „Someone has changed the birthdate!“ Sure enough.Instead of still being eleven,Farrad had actually turned twelve.When Farli confronted him with this Farrad grinned and said,“My lil brother i guess-always changin things!“ He had three of them,all wild. And as it turned out,none of these brothers had a father on the scene,only a huge Turkish momma who chased them with a fly swatter when they were being monsters.So it was that Uncle Farli kind of adopted Farrad as his apprentice,and Sybil as his good luck bringer. Time and time again Farrad has lied and cheated and deceived Farli,mostly for money or cigarettes,but as i said before,such is your Uncle‘s nature,no matter how many times a kid kicks a ball over the fence,he will wait for that one he kicks into the net! I can tell you why Farli is like that.Because he never found his own father.That is true.That is also why he has an apprentice.
Your secret word---JOGADOR
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN part FOUR by rjmendera
So Farli and Leo had been travelling together for a few days and were starting to enjoy each other‘s company,mostly because it was good fun making jokes about the Portuguese customs along the way. For example,the bus stops didn‘t have time schedules on them.So,did the bus arrive when it felt like it,or were these maybe old,defunct signs? It was getting damn hot in the midday heat which didn‘t much bother either of them,because a cold Sagres or Super Bock would be waiting in the next town. „There,look!“ Farli shouted suddenly. He was pointing to a grove of trees off the road ahead. „Ha,ha,ha“Leo laughed.“He must be a union member!“ Sure enough ,an old transit bus was shading itself from the heat.It was the middle of nowhere,the driver had his feet up, and he was munching a baguette sandwich.
Leo the Green Magician,being a few years younger than Farli,carrying less weight,and being on a shorter trip as it were,usually rode ahead of Farli.Leo had bought himself a sorcerer‘s guide to safe havens in Portugal.He was leading them to one now. They had ridden along the southern coastal road all day,enjoying the bright colors and harbours with boats and tourists doing goofy tourist stuff.Well,in order to mingle in,they took some fotos of each other as well,or pointed at statues and said,“Oh look--its Joao Pedro the Fourth“ ,as though this was interesting to them.This was actually the best way to confuse any SPYBULLS that might be lurking behind some fountain. The Algarve is a fine area;of course there are dangers along the route! In Faro you have the Guild of Thieves for example ,who live entirely off what they steal from tourists!Even though Farli has no magical powers himself,he is a keen observer,and could see how these thieves had sectioned off the cafes and souvenir shops ! That is so they don‘t get in each others way.You can imagine the difficult situation of three pick-pockets going after the same purse,for example! Leo and Farli stopped at a phone booth to call ahead and see if there was room at a Dutch campsite.Farli layed his back-pack down and did some stretching.The phone booth was beside a hospital type building.Farli thought he heard some moaning and wailing coming from deep inside. „OK--they have lots of room,“Leo said. When they turned to get back on their bikes,Farli‘s small back-pack was gone. „Oh--! „ Farli said.“This is a strange place!“ Fortunately there wasn‘t much in the pack but a jacket,socks and underwear,but you can see how efficiently the Guild of Thieves had Faro in its grip! So they found a small restaurant with tables outside,ate some „frango“and fed the „cows“. Oh,sorry : a cow is a „dog“ in portuguese.When you sit down to eat outside,there are usually some „cows“ nearby,hungy eyed and lean,because,of course,the Guild of Thieves does not let them join. „Did you hear the weird moaning by that building back there?“ Farli asked Leo. „Oh yeah,“ Leo smiled „An institute for mentally ill people! We have lots here.“ Farli pondered this and threw the „cow“ another bone.
They set out in search of the „DUTCH SITE“ as they both call it now,which was set a ways off the main road into some hills. „It says there‘s a swimming pool,showers with hot water,entertainment area...“ Leo said,reading from his guide. It was getting dark and the two Runners climbed up an entrance road.As usual Leo was leading.Without warning a storm of horrible growls echoed out at them,as though they had woken a monster.Three guard dogs charged down the hill at Leo who nearly fell off his bike.Rottweilers and Dobbermans!!A good thing there was a wire gate across the road to block their charge!! Leo charged back past Farli. „Wrong road--!“ he shouted. Well it was almost dark but they found the site anyway.An old Dutch woman was sitting under a lamp at the office. „For one night!“ Leo said and paid cash. They set up their tents and came back to chat with the old lady.The campsite was nearly empty.The Dutch woman had old pictures and old furniture in the entrance room including a couch to lounge in.There were cards and dice,an old chessboard and books in dutch and english.The place felt something like an old canal barge,cosy and historical. Leo and Farli joked about this quaint room in German,which was obviously meant to be the „entertainment center“,not knowing that the dutch woman,who was now entertaining some neighbours,understood German perfectly!Occasionally she glanced over her spectacles at them,and a ray of light from the old lamp returned poppy red from her eye. Both men were weary,but there would be little rest that night. It started with some small dogs in the hills,barking at something,and then some german shepherd would join in,and then the Dobbermans,and then a whole chorus of other dogs.They were barking and howling and yowling as though a whole army of shadows were gathering to invade. Then they would shut up again Mysteriously.But not for long. Because then ,in some other corner of the night a „cow“ had spotted danger,and soon the entire „cow“ chorus was in full swing again-and so it went the whole night.
The campsite was really deserted except for a few old trailers rusting beside shade trees.Leo and Farli woke wearily.Leo hit the shower first.The water fizzled out of an oxidized showerhead unhappily.It had no intention of getting warm.By the time they had both showered anyway,both men had almost stepped on several toads which were housing in the facility,and the mosquitos were swarming out for a bloody breakfast. They left quickly.On the way out they could see where the mosquitos were coming from.The pool advertised in the guide was a small thing half full of a murky brownish-green liquid.A small sign said „SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK“ in portuguese.OK!So it was a pool pretending to be a swamp.
As Leo and Farli trampled away from this exemplary bit of false advertising,Leo noticed that the sign „Campsite-800meters“ had an arrow which was incorrectly pointing towards the Dobberman driveway! Leo the Green Magician hopped off his bike,grabbed the sign and twisted with both hands.He muttered something in Portuguese that Farli couldn‘t understand. Of course this was a spell,and Farli says that only recently ,with fires raging in the area,has it run its course! The Dutchwoman‘s neighbours who never much enjoyed having the campsite in the area,say that from that day on their „cows“ never stopped barking at night! The mosquitos got to be a plague and eventually only french guests showed up who were keen on grilling the frog legs at night.Last summer,fire finally destroyed most of the site badly and the Dutch woman closed shop. If you go by there today, you can still see the sign with the arrow ,which Farli twisted,pointing in a new direction--straight down!!! to hell.
your secret word---GUARDA-REDES
5-Beatrix and her man Michael
FARLI AND THE GREEN MAGICIAN rjmendera
BEATRIX and HER MAN MICHAEL part five
After the Salish witch had cursed Uncle Farli,as i said before,he flew to Europe. Before that,he stayed at his sisters place in Edmonton for a week.Nick was small then,and George just a baby.Maggie wasn‘t born yet.He went with his sister to pick up her impounded car and he went with Chris to watch indoor soccer. He still owes his sister 20 dollars and he says if he wins the Football Lottery he will repay this immediately. Uncle Farli took a Greyhound to Seattle and of course he was very nervous at the US Border,he being a Runner and the Customs swarming with Bulls! But luckily there was a White Witch heading for Holland as well,and he immediately befriended her.This White Witch was quite young but full of confidence and good spells and aside from that she was Black.When they crossed the border she had cocooned Farli with an odour spell (a smell spell,you could say) which made the Custom‘s Officer (they can be very mean Bulls!) think Farli was just an ordinary travelling tourist. So they made it to Seattle by night,and flew off over Manitoba towards Amsterdam,the black White Witch bringing out some Fanturasma potion that made them feel fearless and hopeful and they babbled all the way across the ocean about things Farli liked and secret spells this woman had cast. In Amsterdam Farli thanked this witch with a kiss because she was off to England.(This was safe then,but i would advise against it.Even a single kiss for a good White Witch can have ballooning affects!)
He immediately headed to Beatrix‘s place.It was only an apartment then,before they had Dan and Pan.Now H.M. Micheal has built Beatrix a nice house, and Dan and Pan have a white rabbit with room to romp!
Did someone yell „BURN THE MANUSCRIPT??“ No? oH Good!! You know if theres not enough action you can say „SPEED IT UP! SPEED IT UP!“ Then the writer will go on faster than the Scatman! When Beatrix picked up Farli she didn‘t notice there was anything wrong.The Fanturasma Potion was still working in him. But the next night,your Uncle Farli had a total breakdown-soul-cleansing the private kind you don‘t even see in a Baptist church.H.M.Michael was also there and listened to the whole story wide-eyed astonished because Farli had been such a happy soul when they met on holidays in Spain. It was at this moment,with the Fanturasma wearing off and his head down on Beatrix‘s kitchen table,that Farli needed help most.He didn‘t have much money,people had started to hate him,and he had lost a beautiful country. But the power of healing plants and wondrous street corners,of spring flowers and life-giving Mother Earth is so strong in Beatrix(and of course thats why H.M.Michael loves her) that from that moment on the Salish curse started to fade away. Not all at once,mind you.When some people looked at Farli they still saw a blemished man.And Farli was so eager to make new friends that he fell into a few traps before he found the Circle of Runners.Now you know this all happened before he met Ramboni,Alex,Joop,Sebol,Damian and the Old Timers!
Beatrix and H.M. Michael helped Farli get back on his feet.They paid the damage deposit on a nice lil apartment for him,which naturally Farli soon paid back. That was the year Beckenbauer and the Germans won their third World Cup in Italy,with a Penalty Kick from Brehme.They won against a man under powerful magic influence,Maradonna(his name is also the name of a poisonous plant!) and when they held the trophy up a lil jet full of Bavarian sorcerers flew off across the full moon. As usual,this is all absolutely true;you can check it in record books or on video chronicles! That same summer Farli started coaching again.He lived beside a Barber/Haidresser shop and had a bed that folds up into the wall.The place was called Eagles Perch.To get into the shopping district you had to pass a Guardian and his St. Bernard who were watching over the town. Now this may seem strange but there are often warlocks watching over a town. The first young person who befriended Farli when the curse wore off was a U-14 player called Peter.Farli had already made adult friends like Gaby the youth director,Agatha who ran the club kiosk,and some other coaches. It was after a tournament in which Peter was the last up at a Penalty Shoot out, that Farli watched to see what would happen.Peter concentrated,aimed and scored-in front of the home club crowd even! After all the back-patting and congratulating died down,Farli waited for a quiet moment. „You were nervous,but you stayed focused.Good shot!“ „Ya,I was...“ Farli wasn‘t Peter‘s coach;he was training an older team.That summer was hot,and Farli became Peter‘s friend.Farli found out that Peter‘s Father was in a wheelchair.Peter was twelve and Farli around thirty-eight!They practised on a castle lawn together.One-on-one games until they were both pouring sweat.They played TIP-KICK on an old game board Peter dug out of his Granny‘s basement.They went swimming together lots. I can tell you that this is something special for your uncle,to have a young friend with whom he can share things! Peter was a quiet boy,sort of shy,but then he would let loose with some good jokes or insults that showed he wasn‘t introverted at all.He became a good player and was coaxed into joining a better club later.He had fair hair with a single long strand hanging down back. Uncle Farli had his share of girlfriends when he was younger,but he never married one! Uncle Franz,the Legend, says he‘s not the marrying kind,and that Farli is so deadly afraid of marriage that he always keeps his touring bike ready! Thats because a girlfriend of his called Larraine once scared him so bad. Farli was waking up in bed beside Larraine after a party when behold dozens of small snakes were tangled in her hair!Turned out they were only CURLERS,but since then Farli‘s a devoted bachelor.
Things would have gone well with Peter if Bjorn hadn‘t butted in.Bjorn was like the boy from hell.He would walk his dog down the street occasionally after school and let the dog lead him to Farli‘s door.He smiled and invited himself in and all the time had this coy grin on his face.He pretended to go jogging with Farli but split off part way and walked home.He saw a foto of Peter on a desk and memorized the face.Bjorn the Blackmailer.He must have had some very evil older friends who were prompting him with these ideas-its hard to imagine he had them himself. Farli the old trusting humanitarian. One day not long after Bjorn had visited,he promptly asked for money.Farli hardly had any on him. „Well“ Bjorn cautioned,“If you cant fork over some dollars we might have to do some damage to your pal Peter At this moment Farli realized the kid had been working on an edge all along. He looked deep into Bjorn‘s eyes. „You‘re not serious ,are you?“ „Oh but i am“ Bjorn said flatly. Farli fell back into a chair.This was new.The kid was a gangster!Farli dropped a few dollars into Bjorn‘s hand,with disdain.He was too shocked to be angry.A cold chill ran over him. „You don‘t need to come here again,then“ Farli said sadly. „Oh but i might!“Bjorn said deviously.“And if you don‘t let me in ,i might have to tell your landlord a few nasty things about you!“ He was quite serious,Farli realized.For an awful moment he realized this Bjorn would even report him to the Bulls if there was some gain to it.When Bjorn left he carefully looked through a jacket the boy had forgotten there.“Boy from hell“,he thought, finding a school foto in a pocket.He left the stuff on a coffee table.
Peter visited the next day.He didn‘t mention it,but someone had been hassling him,Farli sensed it.They watched a film before Peter suddenly noticed Bjorn‘s portrait beside the jacket on the table. „You‘re friends with him now?“ Peter asked . „I thought I was,“Farli said,and realized that was the wrong answer.Bjorn‘s photo had cast its evil intent.Peter said nothing,but there was something boiling inside him.He got up quietly to go.Farli knew he was hiding a hurt inside,but there was no use trying to explain.
„You‘re joking!“ H.M. Michael said,“He‘s blackmailing you at that age! The youth around here has really gone down the drain!“ „You have to be careful“ Beatrix added.“They learn all this on TV“ So Uncle Farli started looking for a new place,one farther away from Bjorn.He helped Beatrix and H.M. Michael move into a new bigger apartment which was near the Club he coached at. About a week later,as he was cleaning his front window,the hairdressers‘ finicky wife came up to him.He hadn‘t seen Bjorn again since then. „You‘re doing that wrong,“ she said.“You must go over the whole window with Pril first.“ Farli saw no sense in this.He said nothing.He had normal window cleaner. „Excuse me,“she insisted „That won‘t do“ He looked at her as if to say,“are you still ticking correctly?“ „Well,,my husband will come“ she fumed,now in a huff! But instead she returned with a rental termination scribbled on note paper! Farli never found out if Bjorn was behind this too,but he suspected it.In any case the Hairdresser couple also came up with a left hook. Who knows what the kid had told them,or if this was still the old curse---!They promptly billed him hundreds of dollars for „cleaning and repairs“,even though he left the apartment in fine shape,and claimed the damage deposit.Farli passed this on to Beatrix.Beatrix just said,“Lets go have a little talk with these people!“ They jumped in the car and drove up just as the landlady came out.Beatrix didn‘t bother introducing herself. „So this is a nice Schweinerei!“ she said calmy.It means pig‘s mess! „You want to take this man‘s deposit like you did the fellow who rented here before! I‘ve heard about you people!Walk around in your black leather boots and stomp on innocent people!“ The hairdressers‘ wife had her mouth wide open,but Beatrix was looking straight into her eyes,not letting her have a word. „Did you both enjoy your Greek vacation with the deposit you stole from the last renter?! Let me tell you lady,“ she said holding up the eviction notice.“This doesn‘t even have the right date on it.As for your damage and cleaning claims--“ she held up a photo of the apartment taken on the day Farli had moved out,“We have some proof here that will make you look as shameless as you are----in Court!“ The Hairdresser, a small domestic looking man,had stepped out of his shop. „OK--Let‘s calm down!“,he said.“I think you two should leave my premises“ Beatrix,who was standing on the sidewalk in front of his shop,in front of Farli,said,pushing her breasts into his astonished face,“I‘m not on your premises,and I‘m not even halfway to excited,Mr,.--if I was you‘d know!“ The wife meanwhile disappeared back into the shop. „ Also----i would‘nt set foot inside your premises again if you laid down red carpet!! You people make me sick!“ With that,still calm as a whisp of smoke coming out of a volcano, she packed Farli into her car and drove off.Farli went to court and won back most of the money,with a young lawyer.Even a more distinguished lawyer hadn‘t helped the hairdresser-so there! Peter finally forgave him after playing a very rough game in which he purposely fouled the feet off Farli!That was a few months later,when Farli found the Circle of Runners near his new place.But their close friendship was over.Bjorn the Blackmailer-? Farli last saw him tediously stocking shelves in a grocery store! After all that,the Curse was gone! your secret word „ARBITRO
6-The Bulls and the Bavarian Warlocks
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN part Six: The BULLS and the BAVARIAN
Good news from Uncle Farli! He‘s going to visit Leo in June! I guess you kids know there will be a tournament in Portugal in June-the European Football Championships! Farli and Leo will be incognito again,exchanging information and notes.Leo says there is great danger this time. Yup,-the BULLS!! They‘ll be all over!! So,what are BULLS,you ask!? There are two types! The Legion of Orderly Bulls (LOBS) and the Network of Absurd Terrorists (NATS). The LOBS control borders,banks,immigration,taxes and so on.They‘re usually hidden away in an office tower. The NATS don‘t control anything,not even themselves,but they are ruthless and tricky and everything the LOBS protect,the NATS want to blow up!Farli has not yet had much trouble with the NATS;its the LOBS who keep pestering him. Two years ago Farli was thinking about returning to Canada.So he filled out a Return Permit,and what happened.? He promptly had an invitation to visit the Embassy in Düsseldorf! Well,SASQUATCH;they could arrest him on embassy ground.That is why ,so often on the news,you hear the NATS just blew up this or that Embassy,or kidnapped an Embassador? Well Farli just smiled and tore up the letter.He knows he can easily come back dressed up like a tourist! Uncle Farli says you kids are in no danger living in the Lower Mainland.But ,he says, watch out for the LOBS if you do something wrong ,like walk across on a Red Light! Because they have hidden cameras,helicopters,DNA samples,memory chips and generally,as a group,have put GOD out of work. You don‘t believe it??---?? How about those library and student I.D. cards in your wallet?? Ah ha--!! that‘s how it starts. Ah ha--Ah ha!! and what exactly is a „REPORT CARD“ ?? and who does it report on,eh!!?? Think about it!! Farli found out too much and dug around in a few hidden corners in Canada,which is why the LOBS keep looking.He found out who controls youth sports in BC.,and he found out the games those highly intelligent professors at colleges and universities play in the name of education.Disguised as a youth coach,Farli discovered an OLD BOYS colonial network was running the show.Or why do you suppose that Mr T Waiters,a former English national keeper, knew about Farli coaching in the Okanogan back then!? Because Farli was a dangerous upstart.He had powerful friends in the artistic community and with the Press. The BULLS keep records of everything though,especially if you step out of line!Farli says you kids are fairly safe though, Mom and Dad being members of the Domestic Teachers Legion,a good safe way to get through life! But Farli is not so lucky.He‘s been arrested twice by the LOBS in plainclothes!Once they nabbed him in a shopping mall using surveillance cameras.The second time they found out he was staying at Uncle Franz‘s place in the North! Of course,the legend has moved to Quesnel since then.
The BCYSA kicked Farli out of his coaching role without warning in 1988.It was set up by the OLD BOYS network,and carried out by the local President,a sneaky rich Englishman.So some of Farli‘s soccer boys went to the guys house and said:“Why did you kick our Coach out?“ And they went to the Mayor and said“ He kicked our Coach out!“ „Do something“ and they went to the papers who wrote „President kicks Farli out!Is that Fair Play?!“ But nothing changed. So you see,the BULLS and their associates have their hands on the controls! the LOB BULLS! A man called George Orwell once described what our World would be like if these people get control of everything.
And the NAT BULLS want to twist their hands off,finger by finger.So they blew up the Twin Towers,part of the Pentagon,Embassies,Jewish buses and theatres in Russia.Its the HOLY WACKAMOLEE WAR!!
Fortunately there are still many men and women keeping an eye out for trouble,like Leo and Farli.Your Mom and Dad,Uncle Franz,good police officers,most postmen,airport workers,taxi drivers and so on. Maybe you kids know some others also.
Leo the Green Magician has had his own problem with the European Bulls! Leo is so powerful a magician because he left home at age fourteen.Its the Banking Bulls who would love to catch Leo,but Leo just laughs in disdain,and says nobly,“Check out the annual income of these institutions!“ Banks! Haha! Leo has FOUR BANKS who treat him like the Shah of Oman even when he‘s overdrawn.Its not any magic.But because he‘s a Watchman! Now don‘t think leaving home at fourteen,making videos with the Bader Meinhoff Gang and becoming a Green Magician is a cool thing to do!Just be thankful you have a nice home and good parents,because Leo didn‘t have either. He had to learn everything himself!He travelled around so much that he still prefers to sleep on a hard floor in a sleeping blanket.He still keeps extra coffee and biscuits in the cupboard for hard times!
Uncle Farli says he has nearly gotten used to the Bavarian Warlocks.They were a little odd at first. When Fenwick Ferdinand Farnsworth Farli (that is his full official name,which i can tell you,being a close friend of the family!; otherwise you would only see it on his Runners identification plate!Itis ,of course,absolutely Top Level Secret!) showed up in November,two of the brothers greeted him. They were Karl and Knut Messerschmidt,no relation to the famous airplane builders.Karl is the oldest and knows karate,but being a warlock,has never used it.Karl has round cheeks and round smiling eyes,but you don‘t want to get in his way at the wrong time or go into the basement with him alone,because he may growl like a bear.In the beginning him and Farli didn‘t get on well because Karl thought Farli was a tramp.Farli thought Karl was as malucco as a grizzly,but now they get on somewhat better.After Uncle Franz sent Farli some money and the deposit was paid,Karl began to see Farli as a man with powerful connections,and he almost treats him with respect now! Bavarians are all a little arrogant,and Bavarian warlocks a notch higher still,thats apparent! Karl is a mechanical warlock and a nature warlock.Recently he replaced a filter pump for his caravan by crossing the hoses incoming with outgoing.Karl says the Americans in California(where the pump was made)purposely changed the pump valves which they exported to Germany because the Germans didn‘t join the War against the Holy WackaMolee War!! Thats possible. Karl loves his witch Griselda so much that he stands on the road each morning and waves to her when she drives to work. He hates George Bush. When he talks about the trouble Bush is causing in the Middle East his eyes get red, his mouth drools a bit of rabies fluid,and his fingers want to pop out of their sockets.But this isn‘t the problem.The problem is how to calm him down before he chews up the statuettes in the entrance hall.Knut then hides in his room. Farli,who is fearless as ever, has learned to say,in an authoritative voice,“GUT! You are absolutely right! ACHTUNG! ACHTUNG! Ze Führer is now entering Bavaria!“ Whereupon Messerschmidt,realising he has gone too far,will say ingratiatingly,“ Ja JA ja.Well then,have a guten Abend“ and disappear up the stairs. Karl has special knowledge of falcons,bees and ornamental garden dwarfs.On weekends he drives away with Frau Griselda to Bavaria to keep in touch with the Warlocks Association there and study plants,roads and birds.
Now Knut lives right beside Farli.but sleeps upstairs because,unlike his brother Karl the Bear,Knut is a chicken shit. Knut watches too many horror shows on TV and is certain that one night some villain will spray tear gas into his room,scalp him (he hardly has any hair on his head) and steal his antique doll collection.Farli has discovered that Knut is actually Elmars twin brother.They dont look alike.Knut Messerschmidt was a school teacher in Munich once.He still has that teacher discipline-his whole day is planned out, he wakes up punctually each morning and locks up on time at night. But Farli isn‘t sure what happened.Karl says Knut had a nervous break-down one day.Knut‘s own version is vague.Knut is vague.Knut has the horrid habit of babbling to himself endlessly,loudly--but then,who can blame him,if noone talks to him.He takes care of older ladies,a part-time job,but Farli has noticed that Knut spends most of his time watching TV,locked up in his room,aggravated when the phone rings. Knut has big fluffy sideburns,a leather cap,two jackets usually quite filthy, and an unkemp room--but beware---! he is a Warlock. He knows each house and its inhabitants.When teen-agers ride by on skateboards,Knut rushes out and calls „Vagrants! Raggedy -Pack“ as though they had teased him or something.Knut is a warlock of conversation and neighborhood.Farli does not trust him.Knut is clever enough to be a LOBS spy,living right next door!Knut checks the mail,and watches everything. Elmar,his twin,is harmless. He is under psychiatric care,and takes medication.He has a greyish beard which is strained with brown smoke.He smokes a pipe in the garden house regularly.Elmar is like a living garden dwarf.He speaks little.He is not stupid,just inside his own world of farns,flowers,ponds and chikadees. Elmar is a warlock who has lost his powers.But Farli likes him.Who knows what could happen if Elmar regained his powers one day!?
secret word: AVANCADO
7-Tree of Ancient Shadows
FARLI AND THE GREEN MAGICIAN part 7
TREE OF ANCIENT SHADOWS rjmendera
There is black magic,white magic and grey magic.Most people know this.Black magic is strong in the Southern States,Africa and the Caribbean.White magic is in Europe and most law abiding countries.Grey magic is all over,draws from other sources and is not as common. Now Green magic is very rare.It is so rare because it is performed without people realizing it. Aside from Magicians,Warlocks,Witches,Sorcerers and such there are also Healers,Miracle Workers,Religious fanatics,Saints and Prophets.These latter draw their power from a divine deity;like Buddha,Allah,Jesus or The Great Spirit.Your aunt Ute has some powers there! A strange thing happened on the day Farli met Leo. Farli was squatting outside his tent boiling up some snails that had crawled out of the bushes over night. An English family had settled in nearby on the campsite with a mobile home,the kind you tow.They were John and Margaret;their kids were Amy and Andy.Andy was at that catepillar stage where the world is waiting to be touched,tasted,ripped-up and spat out!John was spending a good part of his holidays retrieving him.Margaret was an English lady,tastefully queen-like but not arrogant-dignified without being stuck up! But then there was young Amy! Who was this Amy?and who was this solitary man cooking snails by a tent? Amy started kicking a soccer ball around on the open lawn,and that is a sure sign that someone is looking for a friend!Of course,the soccer ball,having a momentum of its own,as most do,tired of being kicked around solo,went to have a rest by Farli. So soon Amy and Farli were kicking together,because,as i said,Uncle Farli cannot resist showing off. And then John joined in a bit,but soon had to chase off after Andy and all this ended in a happy outdoor barbecue together on Farli‘s small grill which had to sub in because John couldn‘t find a propane tank to fire up his own. Amy was eleven, with reddish-blond hair,and a smile that was trying to be happy! English people are so strange! There is such a sweet yet solid tune threading through their rosy lives. And when they are tired of their small children they give them a beer and send them to bed. „He drinks a whole pint and then sleeps like a possum“ John explained. „It calms him down“. The adults were drinking some Irish Whiskey and they chatted pleasantly into the warm night.Amy had nodded off quite quickly.
The next morning Leo stumbled over the ridge immediately noticing Farli‘s team scarf. „You‘re Deutsch?“ he asked. „Welcome to camp!“ Farli said.
This was near Porto Covo,mid October,the ocean breeze light,the tourists thinning.They decided to travel south together.The Algarve stays warm longer in the Fall,being closer to Africa. The night before they left,they worked something together,Leo providing the spell and Farli the wisdom of Zarathustra. Now Farli had befriended Amy and exchanged adresses,and that night he realized there was a sorrow,a pain in her life;in her young heart. John was her stepfather,and she desperately wanted to live with her real Father and three brothers,but wasn‘t allowed. Farli and Leo were chatting in the cafeteria,still a warm,soft night,when Amy ran in crying.John had been calling her to bed with a failing authority.He came into the cafeteria and said ,more quietly,“C‘mon then,Amy!“ She looked at him in revolt,her arms crossed,and said“NO!“ So at this moment Leo knew a little green spell was needed,and he twisted the stainless steel spoon in his cup twice! John frowned and went outside. Amy sat and chatted with these two strange men,and do you know sometimes it is easier to explain your troubles to strangers.So as she explained Farli and Leo comforted her,offering some possible solutions and wiping her tears away with a Kleenex. The crickets started singing outside again.The campsite lights were soft and warm and soon Leo‘s magic had Amy smiling again,saying how she would just visit her brothers back in ol England.And later when John came again,Amy went with him,quite sleepy,and John nodded at Leo and Farli as if to say,“Thanks guys!“ It wasn‘t easy being both Father and Stepfather.The next day they waved and laughed and parted and never met again,but you see not much magic is dark and evil or huge and spectacular-green magic is subtle;hardly noticed at all.
After they left the Thieves of Faro behind,they travelled along the coast towards Olhao.Nothing unusual happened until they lunched under The Tree of Ancient Shadows.Now this was the strangest tree Farli had ever seen! A good thing he made some photos of it with the automatic shutter because Leo reports the Bulls have in the meantime,sawed it down!They probably used it for firewood!The Bulls have no respect for nature,and the result is that hardly a tree remains standing safely in the Algarve! But under this sprawling tree,the moment both men raised their drinking cups,a powerful friendship was sealed,and in those shadows were waiting many old spirits of others who had been friends right back to ancient times! Impossible you say !? Burn the manuscript ,you say !? Speed it up,you say !? Well a tree is something you can‘t speed up!This tree never GREW UP much,but it GREW OUT all over! It looked like an umbrella with huge ,gnarly branches.Was it a hundred years old at least?And think about this---what is the power of a seed!How many trees were there before it,,sprung from small seeds! A Tree of Ancient Shadows! The photo hangs over Farli‘s bed at this minute,and the friendship is alive! There is one small side-effect,however,as sitting under this monumental tree too long will cause a total loss of memory!! Fortunately Farli and Leo only had lunch and a good rest in the midday heat.Nevertheless,Uncle Farli in the weeks to come,forgot that he was rapidly running out of money.This wasn‘t so tragic though,because he phoned Beatrix later who sent him some. But for a MAGICIAN to lose even a small part of his memory can be quite serious.Were it not for Farli‘s presence,it might have been! Leo was delighted,deliriously happy,that he had made a new friend.The Algarve was still hot and interesting and he plied ahead on his bike with fresh zeal.Well you know the Algarve is swarming with people;fishermen,artists,tourists,Bulls,all charging along the same roads. So it happened as they were passing the old Fishermens Market Place on the right,that Leo,wide-eyed to see what was happening there,forgot to look where he was going!Farli just managed to shout a warning from behind him,so that Leo had a second to react! WHAM! a small car turned directly in front of him,Leo‘s tire smacked into the fender and he went flying over the hood automatically curling up into a shoulder roll. He flew all the way over and landed on the pavement!The car screeched to a halt and a young Portuguese guy jumped out.This driver was more shook up than Leo,who got up,looked embarrassed,and brushed himself off! Now everything and everyone which had been mingling and charging along in a frenzy-----stopped----and they all generally stared at Leo! This is whats so cool about Leo.Your average,arrogant,Benz driving German tourist would have immediately called his lawyer,started cursing the driver,and claimed to have three broken ribs! Not Leo! „Oh“he said „Now they should really put a traffic light here!“ To the portuguese driver,who was really sweating guilt,he said,“Calmo-calmo.Are you alright!?“ By now all the old fishermen from the market place were watching. „Here,hardly a scratch!“ Leo said, to calm everyone. „We‘ll just get the bike off the road and....“ „Leo---“ Farli said. „Yeah?“ „Leo,leave the bike there.Call the police.You have to report it“ „Oh“ Leo said,still a bit dazed.“Of course,you‘re right!“ and he asked if anyone knew the number ,whereupon fifty people replied they had already called in! The Portugues cop who came on a heavy motorbike ,looked like he had just left a military award ceremony and been advanced to General!He had a big official Cap and a dark blue and gold uniform with stars,emblems,crests and ribbons! After taking down the accident details he asked Leo if his bike was insured. „No no!“ Leo said.“Its just an average non -insured bike!“ Both the driver and Leo had to blow into a hand-held breathilizer,and Farli,standing behind the officer,noticed that when the driver blew the needle jumped up--way way up! Farli ,still behind the cop,made a gesture to Leo which implied“OH OH ,this ones been into the Lil Brown Sherry Jug!“ The cop was just about to write out a fine when Leo pointed to the bronze cross on his uniform „Oh -muito bonito-!“ he admired,and touched the decoration as though it were a valuable diamond:The cop grew one whole centimeter with pride and honour!But in the same instant the breathilizer needle dipped down below normal reading!Magically,of course! That was just Leo‘s way.He couldn‘t watch while this driver,who was maybe supporting a family,got sent to jail or nailed with a big fine.NO! And so the whole thing ended with the cop telling the driver to buy Leo a new front bar and tire,and to drive Leo to the next campsite,which the driver did gratefully,being a man blended briefly by the sun.And the cop afterwards made sure his bronze cross was always polished and shining.
This „Camping Park“ in Olhao had strange rounded trees,weird birds;returning campers from Scotland,Holland and France!The grass around the pool did appear green,unlike most of the dried out countryside, but the blades were stubbly and hard.Nearby was a fitness park which included a small,raised up concrete soccer and basketball court-the kind with small goals that you play five aside on. There was a mini-market with maxi prices,open at absurd times like nine-to-eleven,three- to- five, and seven-thirty-to-ten!Farli and Leo usually bought groceries at the PINGO DOCE super market in town,which boasted armed guards! A train rumbled by the site occasionally heading to Faro or back,and a big white watertower guarded by several large dogs,pumped up underground water at night.. Farli pitched his tent under this tower.He liked the dogs nearby,and the pump purring at night with the tower nicely lit up. Leo was becoming a touch irritated as the end of his holidays were nearing.After his bike had been repaired,Leo and Farli took some short trips along the coast,or played billiard in the evenings,but Farli could sense that this particular adventure together was coming to an end. They still had fun nights in the small recreation center playing darts or talking to tourists from all over Europe!
„Well, we‘ll keep in touch!“ Leo said one morning.He was packed and ready to head out passed the security. Just at that moment Farli wondered if they really would.Because men often say „Yes -of course“ when they really mean,“Lets wait and see.“ „OK-well,i have your number!“ Farli said.Actually ,he was a little sad.The idea of travelling alone again and struggling with the portuguese language didn‘t seem so bright. „Oh,i almost forgot,“Leo said.He gave him a small satchel which Farli opened later. „A few things that came in handy back when i was tramping around,“ Leo said,and then he was gone.No sentimental handshakes or the likes.Leo was in a hurry to get back to Leandra now,and his dogs.And to put on his club uniform and keep watch all night! But for Uncle Farli there was a different challenge waiting.
your secret word---- MEDIO---!
FARLI AND THE GREEN MAGICIAN PART EIGHT : Mini-Mercado
Uncle Farli had problems getting this update off to me because the Warlock Brothers are feuding.Yesterday was Sunday and Knut cut down some dead brush in the garden ,which caused Karl to shout out „REST-DAY-RAMBO!!“ at the top of his lung capacity.After that he always threatens to sell the house.Later he gave Knut an earful in the hallway. „The deadline for deadwood was end of March!“ he fumed.Knut retreated into his room,muttering something about Karl being deadwood!
Farli spent most of his time in OLHAO spying out Scottish campers and playing soccer with the locals on the court. There was a teenage group and a young men‘s group and Farli,being over fourty now,was an exotic.Because Farli could best speak to these homens in English,they just called him that as a nickname. „Hey English!! You play our side!“ Everyone wore only shorts even though the sun wasn‘t that hot anymore.Occasionally a herd of goats grazed by,munching nuts off trees,an old browned herdsman following.Farli,to get even, gave some of them Nicknames, like „Mini-mercado“ in place of Ricardo ,or „Aberto“ instead of Alberto.Mini-Mercado was the smallest of the teenagers,who hung around in groups.He had the biggest,happiest smile as though he was permanently celebratimg a birthday!So when Farli met these youngsters they usually shouted,“Hey English!!que passar?!“ And English shouted back,“MINI-MERCADO! ABERTO!“ which,guess what,means „the little market is open“ when put together.! How cool is that!and when Farli thinks back to this time,he remembers Mini-Mercado whose smile was always open,no matter what time you met him.
At the end of November Farli knew it was high time to get back home,and he met an English couple from Cannes who promised to give him a lift to France as soon as they returned from Gibraltar. Farli waited and waited.The nights got colder and the Scottish campers said that was bad form by the British,standing him up.So Farli finally decided to say good bye to the Pedros and Ricardos,the Filipes and Albertos! He passed the security,keeping his I.D. card, and headed for Spain.It was early November. Now the Algarve technicians who planned and built the bridge by VILLA REAL that crosses into Spain,also built in a chimera,assisted by local magicians!This has the profound effect that all car inhabitants who cross there immediately head for a beach! Farli,after studying all directional signs,came to the conclusion that bike riders had to travel 100km. further North, or take a ferry to leave Portugal. But,undaunted by confusing signs and warnings,he of course charged up the ramp,took a quick look around for Bulls,and then pedalled madly across to Spain.Nothing happened. He passed old cotton fields,fortresses on hilltops with orange trees,and dried out creek beds.In Niebla the local locos on motor scooters escorted him through town,teasing him in Spanish. They stared at his German football scarf,that of Borussia Dortmund,and waved their own scarves,like those of FC Sevilla! Farli had entered Andalucia. In the hills leading into Sevilla,which is a sprawling city,Farli could smell a sweet incense,and towards night the hills were alive with parties and music. He slept behind a big commercial sign.Getting through Sevilla was problematic,because there are cactus needles as sharp as pins on the road,and he had to repair flats twice. By the time he got to Cordoba he had opened Leo‘s satchel.There was a stainless steel Swiss -type knife inside,and a Handy pouch,the kind you strap on your belt.Uncle Farli has both to this day! Farli tried to hitch a ride with some truckers in Cordoba.The weather was getting colder,and he had almost no money,or winter clothes. But noone took him,so he set out on the road to Jaen.This was almost a deadly mistake!The road to Jaen leads through a giant olive plantation.For about 100km nothing but olive trees!No service stations,markets,post offices or banks.Just olives! It started raining. Farli set up his tent behind a shabby,brick- walled old workers shed.The roof of the shed had long ago caved in and offered no shelter.So Farli tacked down his pegs as best he could into the sandy soil,and settled in for the night.
So he was dreaming away,still rushing around the Portuguese mini field,all his shots going in,and the guys shouting „Bravo English!“,when suddenly he could see Mini-Mercado, who for once wasn‘t smiling,running towards him and shouting „VAI ENGLISH!!Vente muito forte!Go home English!!“,and all the players taking cover. And he woke up with a start because the tent was flapping and loosening itself under the force of the wind,which was howling. He woke up in the early stages of a hurricane! Farli could just manage to drag the fluttering tent behind the shed wall where the bike was parked,before the rain started pounding down.Farli simply covered himself with the tent,bracing bracing his back against the brick wall,which shuddered in the storm. But the storm got worse,and Farli,cowering behind the shed,wondered if the old wall would crash down and bury him there forever.He spent the night hoping,waiting and hoping, that morning would come. And luckily this storm died down In the morning sun Farli could see all the olive trees standing in deep pools,and the highway below was also under water,with a few cars trying to sludge through.But the Sun was smiling again,and in a twinkle of raindrops,Farli remembered his dream,and the warning of Mini-Mercado-!
9-The Road Back Home
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN part NINE THE ROAD BACK HOME rjmendera
Farli had underestimated how quickly Winter can set in.He had been running around in shorts and t-shirt and didnt have warm clothing in the bike packs.The North-west Atlantic wind was welcoming him back to Central Europe. The rain never let up very long,so that clothes in the bike bags were getting wet,which made everything heavier. Towards evening the rain fell unrelentingly.Farli took some shelter under an overpass near a town. He tried to hitch-hike,but the night was ominous and depressing.He shuddered for hours under the bridge,wind blowing the rain through.But he figured he wasn‘t far from a town,and so,to avoid freezing,pedalled towards it. Porcuna!! Now Farli,having no more money for a hotel room,asked at a service station if there was a shelter. They sent him to the Sheriff, in the center plaza of town.The Sheriff,a burly officious man in uniform,couldn‘t understand a word of English.They sent for the Caritas Social Worker,a thin,friendly man,who made out that Farli was asking for shelter.Well-there were two Moroccans sleeping in the shelter,but to his surprise the Caritas man said „We send you to a hotel room.“ Oh what luxury! a room with a space heater! Farli hung up all his soaked clothes to dry overnight!And had enough coins to buy some wine at the bar downstairs.He watched a football match on TV with the locals,feeling much better now,and the barkeeper served him up a baguette sandwich,“No custa nada!“
Farli was grateful for this help and remembered later to send the Caritas in Porcuna a cheque for the room! He pedalled on and on,the Atlantic howling over his back.But still each town was new,each stretch of road different!In Jaen he took shelter in a huge old Cathedral,had a tasty meal of meatballs,and met a Scottish Bard travelling through Europe collecting songs on his two fiddles!But the nights were like doom spreading,black an dreary,and now he had no more money. He was a lone snail slithering over the European map.He ate nuts off trees after watching a local man do that.The further he went,the more it seemed like a struggle between him and the mighty,ruthless Atlantic weather.At times he felt it pressing down on him like an angry spirit. Of course this was partly ,still,the Salish witches curse trying to reach across the ocean,and partly the North Atlantic,which is a cruel old spiritwind,always hungry to shipwreck boats and reek havoc over Europe!
The Atlantic got meaner and meaner.It was like a bear tearing up floorboards to get at a mouse. Farli was now in La Mancha,where there‘s plenty of open space to cross.About ten kilometers from anywhere the Atlantic started spitting down freezing rain!Leafless tree skeletons were his only shelter.Farli knew he would have to get back on the bike and ride,or turn into a human icycle. He pulled the sleeves of his plastic jacket over his hands which were frostbit,and trampled on. Night was falling. „C‘mon dammit-give me a town!“ Farli swore under his steaming breath. On and on. Finally,off the road ahead,a dimly glowing Red Cross! First Farli thought it was a service station,then--yes! yes! a Red Cross Shelter. By now,Farli could hardly get his fingers off the handlebars! The shelter was a small house,dimly lit inside.He knocked and there was movement inside.There were two young Spaniards playing cards.One was drinking whiskey,and had already drank enough.But they saw that this man was rapidly freezing to death,and the thing to do was warm him up. They actually had a round table with a heater UNDER the table,which Farli sat at.Now a shot of the whiskey would have warmed Farli up fast,but the young hombre was hoarding it like it was a woman. When Farli made the mistake of asking for a coffee,the guy jumped up in a rage,shouting in spanish that this wasn‘t a hotel! His colleague settled him down.Eventually they showed Farli a shed in the back,with bed and blankets where he could sleep.And then,suddenly realizing that they were there to HELP people like Farli,brought out a long Spanish salami and two packages of biscuits.No ordinary salami! This Spanish chorizo was so solid and nourishing that it lasted right up to northern France! Farli lived off the land as best he could.In Callela he found many lunch bags which school kids had left in a park.Everything was nicely fresh,packed in plastic,untouched and tossed away!Fruit juice,sandwiches,chips,bananas!! Farli gathered it all up! He had made it to the south eastern coast of Spain.He felt like he had beaten the Atlantic,and would make it home! He lived off these lunch bags for two weeks!In France he packed his bike into a regional bus,down where the luggage goes,and jumped on.All the other travellers boarded,and they drove off!Farli rode the bus through Avignon (the radio playing „VoyageVoyage“) and a long way North.He thanked the friendly driver who hadnt noticed that he hadnt paid a cent,and went on!
But the Atlantic tried one final time break his journey. In Mulhouse! In a city even! This time a wet snow started softly falling.No problem you say?Find the Salvation Army ,you say? He tried that,and the Frenchman looked at his passport and said „We‘re not a hotel“ I guess he thought all Germans had lots of money.So Farli tried the police staion-! All the time his fingers were feeling more numb and his clothing was wet again.The directions the cop had given him were scribbled on a piece of paper,and the ink was smudging. But he asked a pizza scooter man and finally found a converted apartment tower which was a shelter.There was an American at the entrance! „You can park your bike there“ he said helpully. „Have you eaten today?“ „No,“ Farli said. His whole body was shaking with cold. „I‘ll get you a cafeteria card,and tomorrow we‘ll see the Director.Where are you from?“ „I‘m returning from Portugal.“ „Bit late for that!“ „Yes,“Farli managed to smile.“Its an extreme tour!“ At that moment he realized the whole thing had been his own fault,but also that he had beaten the challenge. They kept him at SOS Les Jeunes for two weeks,revitalizing him.When he found himself in a mirror, he looked like a disaster survivor,thin and depleted.But now there were three meals a day in the cafeteria, and a small single room in the tower.Outside snow covered the streets. Farli crossed the border to Freiburg.He had made it home! And ,also,he‘s there right now!
secret word : Vitoria
10-The Great Reward,the Lasting Victory,the Lasting Moment!
FARLI AND THE GREEN MAGICIAN Part Ten
The GREAT REWARD,The LASTING VICTORY,The LASTING MOMENT
As i have said earlier,Farli is almost famous in Europe.When he got back on a December evening into the Ruhr area,Sebol and Damian and Alex all came to see him,eventually. But at first he was still alone,and headed for a small pub. „Just got back from Portugal“ he acclaimed.“By BIKE!“ he added. The men immediately started feeding him punch wine(Glühwein) and he had to tell story after story,about the storm,the whiskey drinking Man of La Mancha and more ,until Farli was full warm inside not just with hot wine but with being back in the industrial land amongst his countrymen. Finally Farli said good-night and went to visit Beatrix and H.M.Michael.In the meantime,Dan and Pan had been born,both just babies. But Beatrix was in a bad mood.Now Beatrix is such a powerfully positive woman until she gets into a mood.No doubt the babies had aggravated her,or the Turkish neighbours,or H.M.Michael not buying the right Christmas present. Uncle Farli,who had liters of Glühwein pressing on his bladder,decided to take a quick pee before he went up.He picked a nice low shrub and started watering it--well--a QUICK pee you couldn‘t call it. Suddenly Beatrix called out from a window above. „Well,well--!! thats just typical.No phone call! No letter! Back in time to piss on my lawn!“ Farli finished and trundled up the stairs.He‘d never seen Beatrix this way before.As though she‘d never known him!Farli was far too tired to fight.He looked at her through punchy eyes,after four thousand kilometers of biking and struggling,having looked forward to a joyful reunion. But Beatrix continued to mumble angrily,and in no way was Farli invited to stay the night.She still had his bank card. At this moment,Farli,with tears in his eyes,thought:“Poor thing-she‘s lived in a house all her life!“ He had so looked forward to chatting with them both---but now...! Farli said nothing except,“OK_just give me my bank card please!“ His eyes were full of tears for Beatrix,because she had forgotten who he was. H.M.Michael looked on and said nothing. So Farli slept by the church where they had always played soccer.He found a big warm overcoat by an AID BIN,and figured he needed the aid most!He wrapped the coat over him,found a niche by the church,and slept.In the morning he was covered with snow.
Now Uncle Farli had no home,only a little money,and a bank card. He took the card and went to his bank.He borrowed about 700 Deutsch Marks (about 350 euros now!) and rented a small hotel room. He found a job at a recycling plant,sorting plastics,metals and bottles. And then the BULLS found him. They forced him to sign a contract saying he would work for low wages all winter.They checked his bank records,job records,passport and identification. These were Bulls from Social Services who would not pay out a penny despite his needy situation.“Well,Mr. Farli,“ they said „In your situation we would make a bigger effort to survive!“ Farli knew this would happen one day.He worked as a Bulls wage-slave that winter.The shifts were long and the winter was the coldest in Germany for decades.He realized that all the poor workers there were in the same slot-the capitalist Bulls were bleeding cheap labour!But after three months Farli found a cheap apartment,on a street that had no trees.And one day he found a better job,delivery driving again,and he quite the recycling plant.Within 6 months Farli was living in a luxury suite again-thats how fast he got re-established! There were more games with the Circle of Runners and later the Old Timers. His apprentice Farrad started hanging around,more and more,bringing sister Sybil along.They partied together at New Years,and Farli hung up the scarf he had carried across Europe.
It is a fact that Farli cannot perform magic.But also a fact that an artifact,like a rabbit‘s foot or a lucky horseshoe,CAN CARRY a MAGIC with it. Now this scarf which Farli had worn around his neck through so much turmoil,had gathered on it such a powerful spell,that the home team became stronger and stronger! It is no lie when i tell you that Borussia Dortmund had not won a championship for over thirty years,about the time Farli was away growing up in Canada!! But now they were close! There were only two games remaining,and Farli took the train to Dortmund which is a fairly chunky city with two breweries.He took his scarf and a pair of big black and yellow rubber boots(the colors of the team)
In this way ,it is also fairly easy to mingle in a sea of fans.But the waves of fanatic supporters at the FRIEDENSPLATZ were so frothy that Farli walked towards his former home in the Nordstadt.There was a pub there,the RITTER‘S ECK,that always had a good bunch of fans singing „Hey Pippi Langstrumpf“ which got to be popular that year because when you sang it and danced around on tables you felt just happy as a bullfrog and entered a kind of childish trance and usually then, the home team played twice as fast! HONEST!! So then Dortmund beat Hamburg and the rivals lost their match and SUDDENLY the whole city thought it was New Years because everyone charged through the streets waving and cheering and crying! Uncle Farli tramped to the BORSIG PLATZ, which is a round-about where this club was founded.The thing is,you carry a flag,a team, a scarf and you suffer when they lose,rejoice when they win.You don‘t notice what a weight you carry until you finally win;then you‘re lighter than a champagne bubble!
Farli walked onto the Borsig Platz.Cars in collonades were looping about honking and wailing.Farli sat down by a sign and started softly sobbing with a kind of joy and pain and relief all mixed up like a milkshake.We won--we won!! An elderly woman walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder.“You see---thats our reward!“ she said. Dortmund won ‚95-‘96! Not just that,they won won again ‚96-‘97!!Not just that-They won the Champions League against an old rival who had always beaten them,Juventus Turin. Not just that.They went on to defeat Bela Horizonte in the World Team Cup Final.
That was after Farli‘s first Portugal adventure!After Farli‘s second trip,in 2001,Dortmund became German champs again!! So you say „mere coincidence“-i think not! But that was later. For many years after,and still to this day,Uncle Farli wears his scarf,his colors,and his hope for his home team.The moments of victory,if you ever experience them yourself--well.the Germans say they „heal“ you--!! So it seems.
your secret word „ pas a tras“
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN PART ELEVEN : LEANDRA
Shortly before Farli made his second Portugal trip some black witches near Porto brought an old bridge down.They bewitched the inspectors into believing that the bridge supports were solid.But the river had been flooding that Spring and the bridge collapsed,sending two tourist buses and a bunch of cars plunging into the river. Witches sometimes do this as revenge for crossing their territory.
Farli rode down through France and Spain,mostly by train this time,because of all the rain.The Atlantic sometimes drenches everything to bother greedy people,but then everyone suffers and the Spanish railway has to re-support the tracks with gravel. To get into LISBON with a train you must cross this same river.Fortunately there was an Australian lovebird couple on this train,so Farli knew nothing awful would happen. You can also take a ferry boat across the Tejo,or drive over one of two gigantic bridges. Farli got into Lisbon at night and phoned Leo for directions. Leo said „When you get out of the station,go right and ride up a ramp,then go--“ etc etc. Farli left the station,turned right and saw cars zipping up a ramp at such speeds that he decided immediately it wasn‘t meant for a bike! So he spent most of the night miandering through streets looking for the OLAY CLUB!
And there was Leo,officially opening the door as though it was his private club,which,maybe in a way ,it was! „Go RIGHT_eh!!??“ Farli said „Are you crazy!“ When his shift was over,Leo said,“Follow me,but not at the Roundabout-there you must stay left--then go straight ahead!“ Sooo,this was exhilarating charging through a strange city at night trying not to lose Leo‘s pizza scooter,Farli now exhausted.
Leandra opened the door wide and said in a lilting falsetto voice,“Ah Fenwick-! Boa Noite-komm inzide!“ Good Lord!! Was she a drag queen? Was Leo married to a portuguese drag queen?Farli smiled and decided,whatever it was,he was going to give it a polite French greeting,avoiding the facial hair,albeit.She was a Big Bertha type woman,but she was a woman alright,so Farli relaxed. They had a big old house on a noisy street corner at the base of a hill,and Farli wondered how Leo,thin as he was, had managed to drag in the huge old glass cabinets and dressers in the main room. There was a huge old aquaduct nearby;shops and a plaza when you climbed the hill.
Now Leandra had met Leo in the Alentejo(dry interior region) and they had such a romantic wild hippie time together,bathing together nude and so forth,that Leo,poor wandering soul back then,had known it was time to settle down! This business of buying a house and settling down is so important for most people nowadays,that they actually raise their offspring almost entirely indoors,with laptops,personal computers,video games,indoor games,television and homework!This is so children can get used to living in a house early.Most of these kids now believe it is deadly dangerous to romp about free outdoors because sunrays,radiation,polution,allergies and such will quickly stunt their growth.So they stay safe in house all the time! Leo and Farli know this isn‘t true.Farli knows the value of a cosy house,but doesn‘t like being glued into one! Leo,who is very proud of his house, can never stay in it very long!
Farli soon discovered that Leo and Leandra had a special language which confuses even the best Bull spies! „Ah,nao sais.Depois,nada! Then-Kalashnikoff! e depois ,KAPUTT!“Leandra‘s ability to mix Portuguese,English and German was a fascinating skill. Leandra is a HealingEarthWoman.She works at the Post Office so that Leo rarely pays postage on his letters.She grew up in Guinea-Bissau in Africa,her skin is dark brown and she smokes cigarettes with black tobacco.She lilts when she talks,as though her days were a symphony composing itself.She hangs her washing out of the back windows piece by piece,her big fingers gripping the clothespins ,while she lilts with a neighbour.It is as comforting to watch this as watching her water the garden.It is much more comforting than seeing a baby being born,which is bloody loud! Leo and Leandra have no children and Farli has never asked why.But they have two dogs and a semi_orphaned boy living with his granny in the the Alentejo,who they may adopt. There were so many problems to solve on Uncle Farli‘s second Portugal journey,that him and Leo were charging about most of the time. Buying a new mobilephone,and getting an employment number and opening a new bank account ,to name a few! Was Farli intent on living in Lisboa!?
Leo would return from watch duty around 7AM,and put new coffee into the perculator.He would sleep until about 1PM. Leandra and Farli got up around 8AM and Leandra would take a bus to work.Because Leo had to work again at 8PM Farli and Leandra spent the evening watching telenovelas,and Leandra taught Farli some of their secret language.This secret language(all the important words are at the end of the chapters!) is so effective that if you learn it you could for example, play a soccer match with your pals without the opponents knowing what you are saying. Farli says this is absolutely the truth,in fact he tried it out later while playing indoor soccer with guys at the Olay Club,and it worked.If there were any Bull Spies in the bleachers,,they were much confused.
Leandra got to enjoy Farli‘s company.Farli is a gentleman though, and having seen so many strange people in his life,takes it all with a spoon of mustard(a grain of salt not being hot enough!) He will probably never own a house in his lifetime,but then,there are so many houses-does he need one?! Leandra cooked up hearty meals and the Ukrainian borders upstairs threw some big family type parties.Other times,Farli,Leo and Leandra sat outside in the garden by a shaded table,sipping white wine and feasting together. Their dogs King and Corina had to sit outside the gate then,because they would beg for bits! Especially King,who was the house guard dog and part Rotweiller;he would just not let you out of his sight until you tossed him a bone or a tidbit.
For a time this worked well and Farli paid Leo a sum for a small room upstairs.On Leo‘s day off,usually Mondays,the two men went on interesting outings together,to spy out Bull Organizations or just laugh at tourists.Everything was going well until one night the NATS broke into OLAY Club.Leo went to check the squash courts,and then BANG he was out cold! secret word :PAS A FRENTE
12-Filipe and the Candlewoman
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN PART TWELVE
FILIPE and the CANDLEWOMAN
If Farli is famous for his long bike trips,then Leo is famous,not for his magic,which is hidden,but for his trustworthy guarding of the OLAY CLUB! On this night ,a group of NAT BULLS decided to rob out the cash registers in the Club‘s small shops.Well,these are emptied in the evening of course.So after hitting Leo over the head ,they stole some sports equipment and dashed out. Leo was out for awhile,but when he regained his marbles,he phoned the Police.They arrived 45 minutes later and asked him what the thieves looked like.They asked him where and when and how many!Could he identify them?? Leo explained to Farli and Leandra back home how absurd this was! „How could i identify them?They were BLACK! Can you see a black man at night?No!Can you see one who hits you from behind? Nao! Can you identify shadows?Nope! Now you know why the jails are full of black guys here!Arresting one is better than arresting none-ha!“ Since then,the owner of OLAY CLUB,who is rich and influential,has a deal with the local cops,and they visit Leo‘s club regularly.But the local papers turned Leo into a hero! „NIGHT WATCHMAN REPELS ROBBERY“ they reported,and many tourists who visited that summer gossiped about Leo,lounging by the swimming pool. „Oh Look-! there‘s that brave Watchman who took on ten thieves!“ Leo now strutted around the big pool with an air of silent dignity!His lumps had long healed.Sometimes when he got too dignified ,his MOBILE would fall into the pool,and he had to replace it. When this happened he would drink a lot of Sagres beer on the job,and speak such weird portuguese that even the portuguese could only guess what he was saying!
Farli met The Great Portuguese Squash Champion outside the Olay Club.Filipe was his name and he needed a helper to build a new squash court in Marina Grande.Filipe spoke good English,and was married to a wealthy Englishwoman who had two paraphenalia shops in Lisbon.Mostly she sold fancy candles. Mostly he played squash.If you don‘t know any famous squash players thats ok! You know Henderson,Hull and Gretzky from ice hockey.You know Ali and Ottke from boxing! Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle from baseball.And so forth. If you don‘t know the Number One ranked over thirty squash player in Portugal,Filipe Rodrigues,you can still win the sports trivia contest,so don‘t worry! It would be a disaster and an insult only IF you actually MET Filipe and said you had never even heard the Alentejo breeze whisper his name!
Aside from the fact that Filipe was a dotting,sentimental raquet star accused of embezelling funds during his time as President of the Federacao Portuguese,---he was a nice guy. Farli was happy he had found an employer who could speak English. His first task was to pick up a Jamaican from the airport,rent a small van,and drive to Marina Grande. Now this was more Farli‘s style! Jamaica John was a cool dude from England,flown over for his specialty,plastering the walls of new squash courts perfectly;laying the floor boards and markings. Uncle Farli got on good with him and they spent ten days together fixing up a beautiful new squash court for a small Portuguese man who was building his own Irish style pub.They worked early preparing the special wall plaster before the midday heat set in.The Portuguese locals,who are proud builders themselves,occassionally peeked in to see how this „specialist“ was doing.
Woah Baby what a great time John and Farli had ,all expenses paid!Buffet meals morning ,noon and night! Pretty young women at the reception,friendly too;and a fridge with drinks in the room. Now this was more like the Canadian lifestyle Farli had grown up with! At night John would tell him about all the „birds“ he‘d been „shaggin“ and smoke a little hash that had somehow fallen off his dashboard into his luggage! Well this didn‘t bother Farli who got a lil high breathing in the exhaust,and they both dropped off quickly. What Farli liked most about John,who was a meticulous worker,was how he would stop the job,pull out a big cigar,and chat up some story briefly. They made a good team,and Farli was sad when he flew off after the job was finished.The court looked good ,except later the Danish floor-boards swelled in the coastal humidity and had to be repaired by Filipe‘s handyman brother. Jamaica John,if you meet him,is famous for his squash courts,as far away as Egypt.So in a way,he‘s more famous than Filipe,who is merely an aging squash Pro with an aching elbow!
When Uncle Farli returned from the job in Marina Grande,a change came over LEO.He no longer seemed happy to see Farli,and they hardly spoke at all.Farli wondered if the Salish witches‘ curse had crossed the Atlantic.But no.It was a different thing.Leo was jealous. Leo,who had struggled so hard to get settled in Portugal,was watching this Dortmunder rise from rags to riches in just weeks.Jealousy is such a dangerous emotion!you can imagine where the term „Green with Jealousy“ comes from! A Green Magician,when he becomes jealous ,loses the power to weave a web of wonder! He starts to think he has no friends at all and can only rely on himself! Even Leandra could do nothing. One day Farli got an SMS from Leo saying „Its better you leave before things escalate!“ Farli was confused.Had the knock on Leo‘s head caused permanent damage? He called Filipe and asked“Hey Filipe--do you have a room for me?“ „Sure-you can move into the office upstairs in the Squash Center.I need a repairman anyway--I‘ll even pay you a little monthly!“ „OK,“ Farli said „Thanks Filipe--sounds good!“ So Farli packed his stuff ,said so long to Leandra sadly,and rode to the Olay Club. Well,who should be there to greet him but Leo,watering the shrubs! So jealous and obsessed was Leo that he refused to let Farli into the club! „Call Filipe,“Farli said to Leo „He‘s renting me a room.“ „In the Squash Club!? You can‘t stay there! Damn! I knew i should never have introduced you!Now there‘ll be only trouble!“ But he finally unlocked the entrance door,realizing he had no choice in the matter.Farli was getting pretty boiled up himself. „Well thanks alot! You want me sleepin on the street ,do you?The way you had to back then!?A fine friend you‘ve turned out to be!!“ So Uncle Farli moved into the office and became resident repairman of the Olay Squash Club,which lies within the larger premises of the Olay Club. He and Leo did not speak for three weeks,and avoided each other when Leo was on duty.Farli got to know all the lifeguards and cafeteris employees.He also started playing indoor soccer with a Portuguese group once a week.These guys didn‘t call him „English“ they called him „Fritz“,but hey,thats alright,Germans usually get called worse things.Anyway they were good guys,and excellent soccer players.
Leo,after he realized everyone had accepted Farli,was like a puppy without a Mother.But Farli had not forgiven him,and stayed out of his way. Farli also started delivering small furniture items for Filipe‘s wife.In this way,driving the Candlewoman‘s car,he got to know Lisbon better.He hadn‘t driven a car for a long time.He painted some rooms at Filipe‘s house and became a trusted person there.
One evening Leo came down to the squash club drunk as a sea otter. „Jesus!“ Filipe said to Farli,“I think he drank too much!“ Well now the Club owner had offered good money to repair the squash courts lights,and Leo,who always needed extra cash,was determined to get in on the deal. But of course it was now Farli‘s territory and option. Filipe,in his most masterly manner,washed his hands of the business and said to Farli,“You settle it,OK my friend.Its your decision.“
So when Farli saw Leo all drunk and apologetic,trying to bargain out a deal,and wanting to do the repairs together because it was so difficult to build the scaffold alone,melted down a bit,such being his nature.Over the next few weeks he forgave Leo,and they chatted again over a beer together by the pool.
The Candlewoman was an English girl who spoke good Portuguese.She owed Farli some money for a job.Farli hated running after people for earned money,but he found her by the pool with her small children.Such was her trust in him that she promptly gave him her Bankcard plus code so he could withdraw his money. Farli did a small kneejerk when he saw the amount on the account!!And what sum would he like,the machine asked!Farli hesitated--!Costa Rica ,he thought.“Nah,we‘ll do that another life“ he decided.And returned the Candlewoman‘s bankcard by the pool.She smiled richly and said „Thanks Fenwick“ For a second he thought he could see why Filipe loved her.She was such a gentle,sweet mannered ,slim and rich English girl that it all matched.For whatever reason she was rich,inherited,earned or embezzelled,Farli could not betray her,simply because she had helped him with the odd jobs!Such is your Uncle‘s nature,and his truth is not to judge by wealth or fame,but by character. Rich folks in Canada are mostly much wealthier anyway--without being a bit pompous.
All this happened in 2000,and Farli was keeping in touch with his apprentice Farrad by mail and phone. He started to notice that Farrad had changed.Some other friends said Farrad had started smoking lots of wacky-tobacky to forget about his problems.Maybe Farrad was breaking down without his mentor Farli there to guide him. Some people break-down here in Europe.It can happen very early.They start piercing all parts of their body or taking drugs or becoming very negative until you don‘t recognize them anymore. This happened later to Damian,for a time anyway,the Polish cousin. Eventually though Farli started worrying about Farrad.Who would help him get started in a decent Life!? Who would help him when he had serious problems!? You kids have good parents to help you,be glad,because often Life gives you a test or a trial to see how resilient you are!Uncle Farli does this lil ditty sometimes as a test(which he learned from his own uncle). He pushes down on a boy‘s shoulders quite hard and says „Well-.what are you-?? Soft and soggy white bread--or tough and solid rye bread!? If the boy crumbles he‘s a whimpy white bread.If his back stays strong,he‘s the tough rye bread!But then he never really pushes too hard,so in the end,they all turn out rugged as rye! Farli says that when he gets back he might try this out on you boys,to see if you have any backbone on ya! So in August of 2000 Farli said good bye to Leo again,told Filipe and his pals at the Olay Club to stay out of the sun,and set off home again. And as fate would have it,that same season,Borussia Dortmund became German Champs once more!
your secret word RAPIDO
13-The Apprentice Farrad
THE APPRENTICE FARRAD Chapter Thirteen FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN
At this moment its not certain what will happen with Farrad. When he scored that great goal at age twelve,he wanted to hang out with Uncle Farli all the time.But by the time Farli returned from his second Portugal adventure,Farrad was a cocky teen ager,his black hair slicked back,dark glasses and hip hop style on. Farli returned to Ressen,a small town in rival territory,as football logic goes.There had been nothing dramatic on the return trip except a tire breakdown on the Belgian border. He short-messaged ahead and rode staunchly into Ressen,which only had one casual main street and one busy intersection.By this intersection the local groupies and turks and teens hung out,on a single bench in front of a Bargain type shop. Farli made himself at home here.He had a portable stereo radio on,and despite being over fourty-five,was hailed as a kind of local vagabond hero. Sybil arrived.“Hi Farli“ she grinned,“How was it?“ „Hot!“ Farli said.“Hey-you‘ve grown!“ „Can‘t be avoided,“ she smiled. She messaged Farrad who arrived shortly by bus. Farli noticed the change in attitude immediately.The admiration was gone.The Mentor person was now just a vagabond on a bike,pining on a bench.Of course Farrad was very happy to see him,and questioned lots.But what warmed Farli more was how heartfully others who knew him welcomed him back.Over and over he had to descibe various areas and people or spit out stories. A Serbian youngster invited him to stay with the family,which he did for awhile,but space was tight.But then suddenly Farrad came through, who had largely gone through the motions of welcoming him,and who perhaps was seeing him as a burden. „ We have lots of room“ he said Staying with the big Turkish Mama and five rumbling kids was a mistake however,because Farli needed rest,but got little. Uncle Farli soon had a job delivering office furniture again,and within two weeks was in a new apartment.Only gradually then did Farrad start to appreciate him again,and visit him.And one by one Farrad‘s problems unravelled themselves.Farrad‘s best trick,when he was unloved and hurting,was to get sick,finding care and attention at a children‘s hospital.That way he could escape his home,his school and his milieu. Now he had his old friend again,to discuss with and help him.Bit by bit he rediscovered Farli as a friend. One night they were doubling homeward on Farli‘s bike through a narrow street when suddenly a car behind accellerated and charged by them dangerously close! The driver was obviously aggravated. „Jeez“ Farli said through clenched teeth,“I hope he stops at the kiosk!“ And ,surprise,the driver had stopped there. Farli jumped off the bike and grabbed him by his vest,eye to eye! „What the hell was that?You trying to kill someone!?“ Farli noticed immediately that the man‘s upper body strenghth was equal to his.But the attack had shocked him. „Call the Police,“ he sputtered to the kiosk lady peeking out of her window. „He almost ran us over,“ Farli clarified.She knew him,and did not call! They rumbled about head to head,exchanging darts.Farli hated these types,who used their vehicles as weapons.This one was probably a snitch to the Bulls as well. He managed to cuff the man once though,who sputtered again,“You saw it,he assaulted me!“ This really irked Farli, the type of guy who needed witnesses when you asked him step outside,but none when he ran you over!Still he figured,this would accomplish nothing,.He‘d only wanted to shake the guy up a bit anyway. „OK--let go“ Farli said,but like an octupus the guy clung to him,fearing a fist fight. To Farli‘s surprise Farrad suddenly jumped in,kicking the creep in the gut,which was unfair,but somehow his just reward. „He said LET GO!“ Farrad screamed,a young street fighter now,ready for combat. „Easy,Farrad--“ Farli said ,calming him down.He didn‘t want this to escalate.But then the guy let go,,immediately raising his fists defensively.At this moment he looked pathetic,standing by the kiosk corner,shaking to his knees.Farli was pleased,and shook his head disdainfully. „Lets go,Farrad“ To the creep he shouted as a final warning,“There are human LIVES on the street.Don‘t drive like an IDIOT!!“
Farli is mostly harmless.He hates tangling like that.But he once slugged out a tatooed man a foot bigger than him,by a canal. Well he was enjoying himself on a hot summer day swimming nude with some younger guys when this monster came over,his wife watching in the distance,and said,“Hey--this isnt your private nude beach!“ Farli nodded,put his shorts on,walked over and tapped this dude on the shoulder. „It isn‘t your private patio either!“ The monster got him down in a headlock,and Farli thought to himself,the only way to win,if he got out,was to make every punch count. When he wiggled his head free Farli came up swinging,big solid precise haymakers,and each one landed,so that within seconds the wife was wailing „STOP! that‘s enough“ and monster was wobbling around just barely on his feet. Farli,who was actually a bit drunk that day,was surprised how quickly he‘d finished this big man off. A few days later he actually saw the same guy at a circus.There was no more trouble,but jeez,the guys face was so colorful in black and blue and red and green that he looked like one of the circus clowns!
No,Farli does not like violence.But he does like his freedom, and he knows you must fight for it at times,not necessarily in a fist fight; there are other ways. He will also defend a woman‘s honour.He had to one night when a player at his club would not stop insulting the wife of his co-trainer,who wasn‘t present.It was the one and only time he let his fists answer in Dortmund. Occasionally now he wishes his fists would be more verbal,but then at his age,its best to concentrate on the biking.
Farli just wrote Farrad to see if Farrad will travel with him on his third Portugal trip this summer.Farli has a cycle trainer in his room now to keep his legs in shape. Uncle Farli says,with the days getting warmer,he‘s getting awfully itchy to charge south again.
Last year he took Farrad on a three day haul through the borderland by Holland.In Winterswijk he had to go into a coffee shop to buy whacky tabacky which Farrad had started smokin.Its legal in Holland,but Farli does not care for it. He did so reluctantly,to stop Farrad whining. They tented by the Rhein on the way back,and of course Farrad complained about the wind and wrong directions and not enough pretty girls,but then he often does .Farli puts up with this stoically,patiently,knowing Farrad will grow up soon. Farrad actually rode most of the way with Farli to Freiburg as well.But in Ludwigshafen a counsellor put the scare on him,saying how he was still too young and so forth,and he promptly decided to tear back home to his big Mama by train.To get home to Ressen ,he borrowed forty euros from Farli and has never paid them back.Well,as i said,Farli is hoping he will grow up fast.
secret message::: TREINADOR
14-The Warlocks' House
FARLI and the GREEN MAGICIAN Part Fourteen THE WARLOCKS‘ HOUSE
Farrad also used to pull off stunts like tricking Farli into lending him money for invented needs.For example he told Farli he wanted to buy BIGMAMA a birthday present when it wasn‘t even BIGMAMA‘S birthday! Uncle Farli got wise to this when he ran into BIGMAMA and her kids the next day at the flea market. „Happy Birthday,BIG MAMA!“ Farli said. „What?“ Sybil replied, „It‘s not her birthday!“ And so it was revealed that Farrad had actually smoked-up some wacky-tabacky with Farli‘s money!
But then Farrad,to give him some credit,has a certain way of cheering Farli up,by dancing to hip hop and grooming himself in front of Farli‘s mirror.Farrad has also never actually stolen a thing from Farli;he knows that would be the end of their bond.Even though he acts cool and tough outside,Farli knows that inside Farrad is sensitive and emotional.He can go from reggae street punk one minute to listening to John Denver the next minute. What impressed Farli during this time,was that Farrad had enough courage to get a laser operation done on his one eye,which was off a bit. Farli,not being the marrying kind,is glad for some good company,and so he forgives Farrad his mischief----eventually.
The Warlock‘s House is a kind of magic fortification.To find it on a bike you must ride up the Threesome River. underneath twelve bridges,including the Oxen bridge and the Dragon‘s bridge. If you were driving a car you most probably not find it,and enter a tunnel underpass. The garden behind the Warlock‘s house is completely surrounded by other houses,so that its closed in.It has two ponds with all kinds of ceramic dwarfs and fable animals which have been outside so long that they appear to be petrified but wanting to jump to life at the stroke of midnight!There are bee houses and lots of busy bees gathering pollen from all the flowers and blooming berry bushes and fruit trees. You must open two gates and walk on coarse gravel to reach the front door,so already vou‘ve been noticed! In fact almost everything in the old house makes a noise!The stairs are guarded by a toy laser sensor witch who cackles when you walk by.The floorboards creak in every room.Knut polishes the wooden stairs leading upstairs each week.Knut also often cleans the whole house in a frenzy,muttering madly to himself.Or sometimes he gets out the vaccum cleaner and charges about grunting and exclaiming loudly,as though he were trying to flush out small ghosts or intruders.Then suddenly he will stand on the back porch again,smoking a Dunhill,surveying the garden calmly. There is a young Barbarian with long hair living upstairs.He has a moto cross bike and a racing bike,and he barely fits through the doorframes.He lives under the roof in an attic room with a tiny window. He is quick to enter and leave the house because,like most barbarians,he is quite shy.Sometimes you can hear a lonely tune repeating over and over out of the window.Farli has tried to befriend him but its difficult.Just like Farli this Barbarian has found a temporary shelter in the Warlock‘s house. Right now its Sunday and Knut is downstairs hammering on something. Noise on Sunday always annoys Karl upstairs with Griselda. „Knut!what are you up to!? Renovating your room on Sunday!!??“ Uncle Farli is sitting in the garden beside the snail-shaped pond.Church bells are ringing from several churches at once,so it sounds as though they are saying,“Come good people,leave behind your evil spirits and rejoice!“ Well, Farli is quite happy to rejoice and ignore Karl‘s tantrums,sitting beside the big green frog and the two lil deer who are spitting water into the pond at timed intervals.
A strange thing happened last week. El‘mar,the quiet warlock who rarely talks,commented on the football lottery which Farli sometimes plays.They were sitting in the garden house when El‘mar finished his pipe and said,“Yup. I guess you‘ll win eventually.But I‘ll bet on the portuguese guy!“ He meant Leo who played the Portuguese loto.Well,Farli thought,you wouldn‘t if you knew that Leo never played soccer in his life. But that week,when he checked his and Leo‘s bets--BINGO!!!-Leo the Green Magician had won 90 euros-!(about 110 dollars Canadian)..! Well,as i said before,Farli has no magic powers,but maybe El‘mar does!
Today is Leo‘s birthday,and later Farli will send him some birthday greetings! Leo,once in awhile,late at night when the OLAY Club is quiet,goes outside and talks to the southwind.And then a high pressure system moves up from the Iberian peninsula,bringing Farli and all of Central Europe warm,sunny weather like today.Its just a seasonal type of Green magic Leo does all unnoticed.
For the moment no NATS or LOBS;they stay in their rooms on Sundays with the shutters closed. Farli is really itching to head south again soon.So he‘s already told Farrad by phone if he wants to come along he needs to get his things together fast! Otherwise Farli will go alone. He has a different bike now with the old sidebags on it. These Bavarian warlocks are unpredictable,although for the moment Farli can enjoy the safety of their house.They are such uncommon,weird creatures to live with,whose rites and rituals Farli does not care to learn.And the white witch Griselda could give him trouble. Dortmund is having a rough season,and Farli knows the cause.The old scarf with its old magic is slowly gathering dust on the wall of his room. He knows what he must do.Wrap it around his bike,pack his keys and bank card and head south.Renew the magic.Visit Leo again. If you kids hear from Farli again i guess he‘ll be somewhere in the south.You know i can‘t reveal the location.He trusts me with that.But I‘ll keep you updated when i know! WHAM!! The southwind just slammed the door.
(your secret words)::1--canto:corner kick 2--jogador:player 3--remate:shot 4--guarda-redes:goalie 5---arbitro:referee 6--avancado:striker 7--medio:midfielder 8--defesa:defender 9--vitoria:victory 10:pas a tras:pass back 11--pas a frente:pass forward 12--rapido:faster 13--treinador:coach 14--faulta:fault
(Uncle Farli says these are the words you need to learn to play soccer with portuguese players.He learned them in the sun in Olhao.)